NEWLAND WELLNESS LLC

Tag: Self Love

  • Why No One Can Hurt You

    Originally published on Medium.com Jan 16, 2020 

    Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

    I was talking with a friend who made a statement regarding the fact that he never wants to hurt anyone. How many of us share this sentiment?

    Not wanting to be the source of someone’s pain.

    Pain will enter our lives — but the suffering comes from within….

    I’m talking about mental, emotional pain of course, not physical pain.

    I was reflecting upon the conversation this morning when this thought came to me:

    No one can hurt you. If you feel hurt, it’s because you are allowing that feeling in.

    I could consider this thought as NEW, but it’s something I have followed for awhile. How long? At least 5 years.

    It was five years ago in November that the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with decided he was leaving.

    Did I hurt when he said he wanted a divorce? That our 29 years together was over?

    YES!! — how could I not, phrased that way?!

    Look at some of the facts:

    ~We were together for 29 years. I thought we would always be together.

    ~He left me for someone else.

    ~I would have to leave the house we raised our family in. (had to sell)

    ~I was losing my family unit.

    ~I was losing the identity I had of who I was — wife, homeowner, resident of my town, etc.

    I have been on a spiritual journey (on and off) most of my life. At this point in time, it was ‘game on’ for me to step up to a deeper level.

    My mantra was, “To find peace among the broken pieces”

    So I looked again at the facts (above) and took another view…

    Look at some of the facts:

    ~We were together for 29 years. Some great years, more recently not so great.

    ~I grew up with him (met him when I was 21). And I continued to grow, he did not and therefore we were growing apart.

    ~He left me for someone else, but mentally I left him much sooner. I was feeling stuck but felt I had to stay.

    ~He was brave enough to want something more, to not settle any longer.

    ~Our family home was too big and with our kids in their early 20’s, we would have ended up downsizing sooner than later.

    ~The family unit was ending, but the memories are always there. And our family unit was changing with my son looking to move out and my daughter in college. ~I wasn’t all those titles I held. And titles will come and go over the years and have. I discovered who I really am, which is a creation of God with a part of Him inside of me. THAT will never change. (Guess what, we all are :).

    So as I have laid out, there are two ways of looking at things. We get to choose! If I chose to view it as my ex hurting me, he has power over me. I would stay stuck and struggle to rebuild my life.

    By choosing to see that through the pain I was feeling, only I create the suffering, I have the power! I can freely move forward. There will still be moments of sadness, but they are just moments.

    I choose to see what happened ultimately as a gift. A gift of my freedom and the hope for a better life for myself.

    As Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”

    I see friends and even strangers continuing to live those vows made on the altar… til death do us part. Many unfortunately, are dead before they actually die…

    My friend’s thoughts of not wanting to hurt anyone may actually help in the healing of someone who reads this article with an open mind and heart. Thank you my friend for the inspiration :).

    Until next time ~

    Be Well,

  • If you need someone, I’m here….

    If you need someone, I’m here….

    Originally posted on Medium.com Jan 4, 2020

    I’m someone who can be by your side, I want you to know that you are not alone. You may feel alone — you may feel support from those around you, but not the true support that you need.

    The support that comes from someone who has walked the path.

    I may not not necessarily be that far ahead of you, could be just a few steps. Or I may be miles ahead. Maybe I’m near the end and you are at the beginning.

    Where ever we are on the path, it is somewhere together.

    Wondering what life has for you now that it’s changed… You’re in a mid life transition, been through a divorce, a widow, an empty nester, someone in a marriage or relationship that feels empty….

    Questioning “What now”. Knowing that there’s more to your life but not sure of the steps. Taking a turn not sure where it is leading.

    Fear creeps in — fear of the unknown. Your life had it’s share of good and bad times and now you wonder what times you will share — with yourself and with others.

    Yet, you have a feeling, even if it’s buried deep down, that there is something more. And you are searching for what that something is. Stepping forward to not find yourself but create yourself.

    Yes, create yourself! You’re not lost, you don’t need to be found. You are walking into the second half of your life. It looks different than what you expected, but you realize that you are walking into what can become the best half of your life.

    The half that is creating what YOU want after years of giving to others. I’m not saying others still don’t need you, but not like it once was. You are no longer in the shadows, you are in the forefront.

    And so am I. This is a journey we can take together.

    I am someone who was a stay at home mom, married for 29 years, with an focus on philanthropy as I always had a strong desire to be of service. It was 7 years ago that I started back in the work force, again being of service to others, as a leader for a weight loss company.

    I saw many incredible people who I had the honor and privilege to be of service to come into the meeting rooms wanting to lose weight. What I learned is that what they really needed (to do so) was to love themselves.

    Don’t we all….

    I started to see that the meetings I led needed to be more about a holistic journey — a body, mind and soul approach, a journey of the inner self and of the mind.

    It wasn’t about the program, they knew how to work it. What I did was to dig into why they weren’t working it. Or couldn’t keep working it.

    I am someone who keeps abreast of the latest research, following both the functional medicine (integrative or holistic) along with the metaphysical.

    I am no longer with that company, but am grateful for the 5 years I spent there. I’ve been told that I touched many lives during my time with those awesome members…

    … and truth be told, they touched my life in ways they will never know.

    For years now, I’ve had a vision to start my own company that would continue to be of service helping others. Help them tap into their inner power, to see the bigger picture in life.

    To start taking care of ourselves — and the importance of doing so.

    What better time to make that vision a reality than in 2020?! A point of NEW beginnings, with a clear view.

    No longer should we look at 2020 in hindsight but instead in foresight. A time to create what we desire.

    I am board certified as a Health & Wellness Coach through NBHWC and certified in functional medicine through FMCA. As you follow me, you will see that I think of myself as a messenger. I love to share what I am learning from all different sources, be it the functional medicine community or the spiritual one.

    To me, this column is my “ If… Notes”.

    If you had the time to read and listen to every book and webinar that was of interest to you. If you knew where to find the resources.

    If you even knew there was something more….

    If you want someone by your side to open your eyes and mind to NEW theories and ideas all based on scientific research. (actually much of what I share could be considered NEW age but is really been around ‘underground’ a long time).

    Research done by many experts in their own fields, that are ultimately messengers as well. With the same message…spoken in their voice.

    If you are reading this and it resonates with you, I hope you will comment below. Or reach out and join the community. Why not walk this NEW path with others that can be of support.

    What if…

    Until next time — Embrace yourself!

    Be Well,