NEWLAND WELLNESS LLC

Tag: Self Improvement

  • How I Learned How To Go From Tears To Peace

    How I Learned How To Go From Tears To Peace

    Originally published on Medium.com Feb 22, 2020·4 min read

    I’m in an interesting space today. Without getting into all the details, I wanted to share how I have learned how to process things.

    Last night, I was faced with a challenging conversation at my day job. Came out of the blue and took me off guard. I have to put in a disclaimer right now and that is I don’t feel comfortable talking about myself and my personal journey. I’m a private person now moving into the public eye.

    Yet, I realize that many of us face similar situations and there are two paths we can go down —and we get to choose which one!

    Let me repeat that last line — We get to choose.

    Life is going to happen- people, situations, events — we have no control. Where we do have control is over ourselves and how we react!

    I once heard, and I cannot remember from what brilliant person, the quote:

    God please lift the veil so that I can see circumstances for what they truly are…

    I love that quote and it’s something I say every morning.

    As I move back into last night, thoughts ran through my head, victim thoughts, thoughts of how this was unfair. And maybe it was, considering all that I offer to the company and how proud I am to work there.

    That being said, I truly desire so much more! I truly desire to have my own company, which I have created, NEWLAND WELLNESS. And as much as I am grateful for where I am because I love what I do there, I am not doing what I love!

    Can anyone else relate to this: You love what you do, but you’re not doing what you love?

    After the conversation, I spent time mulling over in my head what was said and what I could have added if I had thought about it. I could easily have reached out to people with the “Can you believe what happened last night….” drama filled conversations that would have prolonged my suffering and accomplished nothing in the long run.

    Instead, I kept it to myself and went within. Slept on it and looked to find what I could learn from the interaction. And here’s what I discovered:

    I am comfortable where I am and though it’s mundane, I enjoy my time and could easily continue on, or even find another job. Then I could work my own business part time on the side. It’s actually a practical plan when I think of it.

    My mind may want that, but my heart wants something more.

    My heart wants me to stand on my own two feet, step out into the unknown as scary as that is, and move into my passion! My mind doubts, my heart knows.

    The conversation last night was confirmation to me to keep moving forward to follow my heart and not let my head get in the way.

    Haven’t I been in other situations where it was scary, I was facing the unknown, but had no choice but to move forward? And I did and in looking back see it helped me grow. I ended up better off for it.

    Can you relate? You too have been through or are going through challenges, that could really be looked as opportunities to grow — to be that better version of you.

    Before I sat down to write this, I happened to be cleaning, something I do on Saturday mornings. I was in my bathroom around my tub moving objects. As I lifted a big wooden bowl with some decorations in it, a wooden hand held massage roller fell out and toppled onto a glass vase I had with some blue stones in it.

    I watched it fall, and heard it clink — and expected it to shatter. Instead, to my surprise, nothing happened. It stayed intact. I realized it was a sign for me…

    …this beautiful, delicate vase was stronger than I had imagined. And then it hit me:

    I am stronger than I imagine. Life drops things on me, and I don’t break. I become even stronger.

    It was in that moment that I said a grateful “Thank you” not only for my vase being saved, but to the person I had the conversation with last night.

    This person need not know my feelings, but I am grateful for the opportunity last night played in moving me forward. I am more determined than ever to step into the unknown, move into my vision and see where it takes me.

    Until next time~

  • What’s With The Term — Trust The Process?!

    What’s With The Term — Trust The Process?!

     Previously published on Medium.com Feb 15, 2020 · 4 min read

    I’ve spent some time pondering this statement, which can mean different things to different people. I was listening to a webinar where it was brought to the caller’s attention that they needed to “trust the process”. The caller asked “How” and the speaker mentioned googling the term and seeing is what found.

    I decided to take that advice and did so myself. In a few short articles I read, I noticed that there was a common theme regarding ‘the journey’. I am familiar with the concept, “it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey”. I’ve said it myself many times to many groups of people.

    What ‘the journey’ means to me is to enjoy the ride. To find gifts along the way — that would include the people that show up to help as I move forward.

    It’s the grace period that supports me.

    I learn about others and what they are made of. I learn to turn to and receive help. I see the good in those people.

    The ride, the journey, will include ups as well as downs — it’s not a straight line but a jagged path. It’s finding the gifts along the way — that would include the problems, the struggles and looking for the silver lining in them.

    It’s the growing period where I look to overcome and rise above.

    I learn about myself and what I’m made of in those times. I learn to be proactive and not reactive. I strive to be that better version of myself.

    I’m not a psychologist but I am fascinated with the mind and the brain. I love to do research and see how what I learn applies to me and to others.

    What I found fascinating in these few articles I read is the focus on the journey because the destination can be a let down! Or once reached, how it is viewed as what’s next….Not being satisfied, wanting something more.

    I started to think about a couple of my past posts and how I shared I don’t believe in making resolutions but in setting intentions. Resolutions are about the end and intentions are about the journey.

    It’s the same with goals. I don’t use that term. I also use intentions. Why? Again, intentions aren’t about the end, it includes the beginning and the middle. Once I reached what I intended, I enjoy and celebrate it as I did while on my journey to it. And the end…well, there is no end.

    If you are reading this, you are on a journey as well. Actually, we all are on a journey, I’m looking to attract those that are conscious of this. We are all looking to reach a destination, a better perceived place. But it doesn’t end there, it starts a NEW journey.

    When you get to where you want to be:

    Will you celebrate it? Will you enjoy it?

    Will you live there in gratitude? Will you stay there in peace?

    I’ve learned that people that are “goal oriented” tend to be just about the goals. And when it’s just about the goals, there is always that longing for more and what’s next. This might seem like a road to success, but with this mindset, it is a path to toxicity, and is destructive to your well being. It takes away the pleasure and the peace of accomplishing what you set out to do.

    It could be considered shallow. For example, take weight loss. One can set a goal to lose 25 lbs and then reach it. The focus is only on the end result, once reached, one can feel kind of empty. Now what? Then the weight goes back on.

    With setting an intention to lose 25 lbs, the focus is not just on the end…There is no end to that journey. The weight is lost, and the journey continues to maintain and keep it off. You keep learning as you go and you grow into becoming a better version of yourself.

    I encourage you to enjoy the journey and realize that it is never ending. Take the ups and downs, find gratitude for what you go through and grow through it.

    Do you resonate with what I have shared? I would love for you to comment below.

    Until next time ~

  • Why No One Can Hurt You

    Originally published on Medium.com Jan 16, 2020 

    Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

    I was talking with a friend who made a statement regarding the fact that he never wants to hurt anyone. How many of us share this sentiment?

    Not wanting to be the source of someone’s pain.

    Pain will enter our lives — but the suffering comes from within….

    I’m talking about mental, emotional pain of course, not physical pain.

    I was reflecting upon the conversation this morning when this thought came to me:

    No one can hurt you. If you feel hurt, it’s because you are allowing that feeling in.

    I could consider this thought as NEW, but it’s something I have followed for awhile. How long? At least 5 years.

    It was five years ago in November that the man I vowed to spend the rest of my life with decided he was leaving.

    Did I hurt when he said he wanted a divorce? That our 29 years together was over?

    YES!! — how could I not, phrased that way?!

    Look at some of the facts:

    ~We were together for 29 years. I thought we would always be together.

    ~He left me for someone else.

    ~I would have to leave the house we raised our family in. (had to sell)

    ~I was losing my family unit.

    ~I was losing the identity I had of who I was — wife, homeowner, resident of my town, etc.

    I have been on a spiritual journey (on and off) most of my life. At this point in time, it was ‘game on’ for me to step up to a deeper level.

    My mantra was, “To find peace among the broken pieces”

    So I looked again at the facts (above) and took another view…

    Look at some of the facts:

    ~We were together for 29 years. Some great years, more recently not so great.

    ~I grew up with him (met him when I was 21). And I continued to grow, he did not and therefore we were growing apart.

    ~He left me for someone else, but mentally I left him much sooner. I was feeling stuck but felt I had to stay.

    ~He was brave enough to want something more, to not settle any longer.

    ~Our family home was too big and with our kids in their early 20’s, we would have ended up downsizing sooner than later.

    ~The family unit was ending, but the memories are always there. And our family unit was changing with my son looking to move out and my daughter in college. ~I wasn’t all those titles I held. And titles will come and go over the years and have. I discovered who I really am, which is a creation of God with a part of Him inside of me. THAT will never change. (Guess what, we all are :).

    So as I have laid out, there are two ways of looking at things. We get to choose! If I chose to view it as my ex hurting me, he has power over me. I would stay stuck and struggle to rebuild my life.

    By choosing to see that through the pain I was feeling, only I create the suffering, I have the power! I can freely move forward. There will still be moments of sadness, but they are just moments.

    I choose to see what happened ultimately as a gift. A gift of my freedom and the hope for a better life for myself.

    As Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”

    I see friends and even strangers continuing to live those vows made on the altar… til death do us part. Many unfortunately, are dead before they actually die…

    My friend’s thoughts of not wanting to hurt anyone may actually help in the healing of someone who reads this article with an open mind and heart. Thank you my friend for the inspiration :).

    Until next time ~

    Be Well,

  • Welcoming the Unwelcome

    Originally published on Medium.com Jan 14, 2020

    This quote came from the book “Welcoming the Unwelcome” by Pema Chodron.

    She shares that we should be thanking that person that is causing us grief! Not to their face, but in our heart.

    Granted, it’s hard to see it when you’re in it!

    That said, is there a part of you, maybe a very small part of you, that might ‘see’ this — if so, then you can open up to it.

    As sad as it was to have my husband leave me, in his doing so, this is allowing me to focus on me, to take care of myself, and become the best version of me.

    Not stand in his shadow but create what I desire. The focus is now on me, stepping into my power, not him and trying to help him.

    And that’s where the focus should ultimately be…

    Until next time ~

    Be Well,

  • How a Pandora Charm Helped Me

    unsplash

    How a Pandora Charm Helped Me

    Originally published on Medium.com Jan 12, 2020.

    A few years back when the Pandora bracelet was all the rage, there was an offer in buying a certain amount of product to received a free new bracelet.

    I’m all in for a bargain! I choose the Essence Collection. And the charm that that caught my attention and called to me was the wisdom charm. I liked the way it looked, and I liked the meaning.

    I was at a point where I needed some wisdom — going through what I was facing, which was a big challenge and some big changes.

    In receiving the bracelet/charm, there was a card enclosed which read:

    You gain through experience. Every episode in life is of value….

    I cannot tell you how powerful those words were to me — and how much I really needed to hear that! I felt it was a sign. A sign in a Pandora store of all places….

    Who knew that free bracelet would have priceless advice?!

    It reminded me once more that I needed to trust the process of life. That what was happening was happening not ‘to’ me but ‘for’ me.

    In hindsight, that scary time was actually kind of a beautiful time! I look back and see that what I went through tested me. At that point, it was out of my hands. I had to turn strongly to my faith and had to trust not only the process, but the person who came forward to help me…

    …And I had to do some work on myself. I was so worried and wasn’t sleeping. I decided to spend time and money with courses to help me understand, to evolve.

    If that challenge didn’t happen, I would not have invested in those programs, invested the time — invested in myself as I did. I would not have been as far along. I would not have grown as quickly as I did.

    I’m not perfect, no one is. I still have growing to do, but I am a better version of myself. And I’m grateful for each experience, which was there to support me in where I am now.

    In the moment, it’s hard to see the bigger picture.

    I encourage you to try — see the light among the darkness. Find a piece of the silver lining. In doing so, you can begin to move forward.

    Trust the process, find some hope.

    To not stay stuck, to go from a victim to a victor.

    To realize that like the card from Pandora, Every episode in life is of value…

    Until next time ~

    Be Well,

  • What Does Life Want From You?

    What Does Life Want From You?

    What Does Life Want From You?

    Originally published on Medium.com Jan 11, 2020

    We seem to live in a world where the focus is on what we are getting out of it. The ideal career, the big money, the perfect mate, the perfect kids, the big house, the luxury car — the dream life….

    What if we started to look from a place of what we are giving to the world?

    Yesterday, I published a meme from Eckhart Tolle asking us to rephrase the question of What do I want from life? to What does life want from me?

    If you are reading my articles, you are someone in transition. Someone who is going through challenges, someone who is looking for hope that all of this will one day make some sort of sense.

    I know this as I was someone (and still am) in transition. Going through challenges, that I started to see as opportunities. Yes, opportunities to realize who I am and what I am made of.

    Coming from this concept allowed me to have hope — that what I was going through, I was growing through. Evolving to become my true version of myself.

    We are not all the titles we once held, but are souls having a human experience. It started to make such sense to me. That what was happening was happening for my highest good —and for all our highest good.

    I am a better version of me. It’s not about perfection, as there isn’t any. I am in a better place than I once was and the experiences I faced, helped me to move forward to become who I am now. And to allow me to continue to grow.

    Part of who I am now is someone who desires to help other women, mid life, transition and become their best versions.

    To see our second half as our best half.

    To not age, but to become ageless through holistic measures.

    Who are you now becoming?

    What is leading you to your better version?

    We look for the destination, but look at the journey and what you are learning and discovering along the way.

    You might not have wanted this life, but — What does life want from you?

    Please feel free to comment and share.

    Until next time ~

    Be Well,

  • Change

    Change

    Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change…

    Originally published on Medium.com January 1, 2020

    Photo by David Travis on Unsplash

    We just moved into a NEW year, the beginnings of a NEW decade and it all starts with today. The year, 2020- a number many of us will associate with vision, what’s actually considered the perfect vision.

    What is your vision — what do you see for yourself on this NEW day of this NEW year of this NEW decade? I follow many inspirational/motivational people that speak about how we are the creators of our lives.

    What this means to me is that the way I look at things creates how I view my life, which produces how I chose to live my life.

    Do you see the world as a positive place, or a negative place?

    Do you see life happening for you or to you?

    Do you ask why is this happening to me, or come from a place of what am I to learn from what is happening?

    I used to come from the negative, the happening to me, the why me….I lived in a place of anxiety, lack, fear. I judged others, complained, was caught up in the drama of life. I would numb myself with food, with alcohol — I even numbed myself with Xanax.

    I look now and think of how I wasn’t living my life, I was just existing… Can you relate? I know I’m not alone with this, but I ultimately felt very alone.

    One day, and I can’t remember exactly how, I came upon Wayne Dyer. He is known as the Father of Motivation — and with great reason!

    His quote was a game changer for me:

    Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change….

    Through his words, I started to open my mind. I started to take a NEW view on what was happening in my life. I started looking to find the peace, the abundance, the love.

    I started to see that I had much to be grateful for.

    Having 20/20 vision is perfect vision but only in a ophthalmologist or optometrist’s office. I’ve come to learn and discover that there is no perfection — we strive for it, and then we fail. We cannot attain perfection… so stop trying!

    Instead I look to be a better version of myself — I encourage this of you as well.

    It takes the pressure off, it takes the judgement out. It gives us a break. We stop beating ourselves up. It allows us to see ourselves for who we are and to recap scenarios of our lives and how we can change our reactions the next time. To be proactive and not reactive.

    It allows us to accept ourselves.

    It makes us mindful.

    It makes us responsible — which is our ability to respond to any situation.

    It gives us the power to control ourselves, which is all that we can control.

    Science has proven that our brains are not hard wired. We have the ability to train our brains, to think differently. It’s called neuroplasticity. And before I even heard that term, I saw that this was indeed possible.

    I am living proof.

    As we enter this NEW year and NEW decade, I ask you to join me on making a NEW start. Let 2020 be a time to create a NEW vision for yourself and your life. I want you to see that it can begin with changing your view…

    Here’s to YOU in 2020!

    Be Well,